Where has all the love gone?

Tiger Tale laments the loss of lovin' in the world of cyber sex

Driving home from work a couple of nights ago, I was stopped at the lights, and when I looked to my left I saw a young couple at the bus stop. She was sitting on his knee, their arms locked around each other, both of them completely oblivious to the pouring rain, the traffic, and in fact, the rest of the world.

I chuckled a little, then stopped as the thought struck me: how long has it been since I kissed someone like that?  How long has it been since I even wanted to kiss someone like that? Not just wanted to f*ck them, but to share a part of myself, to become involved and wrapped up in someone else?

Do we change as we get older, become jaded? Perhaps a skin grows on our hearts trying to protect us from hurt and damage. I don’t know, sometimes I don’t think I have the same intensity of feeling that I once did, and I want it back. I have vivid memories of early romance and how even the colours seemed brighter as we lay coiled together. What has happened to that feeling of wonder? It’s been so long since, to use a very old term, I have been 'courting'.

Has internet dating, instant messaging, and sexting, all conspired to take away some of the mystery and wonder that is a new partner? How many of you have seen your new play partner naked via text photo or webcam before you have taken their clothes off in real life?

For me, some of the joy of a new relationship is the exploration of one another’s bodies, their likes and dislikes, their particular kinks and button pushers. It seems like you look at a dating site and get a nice shop window view, a couple of face pics, some naughty ones just to pique your interest, and then a list of what they like and dislike, want to try, etc. Having all this information at your fingertips means you step past a lot of the initial chit chat, the getting-to-know-you part that traditionally happens before sex. Perhaps it’s this chit chat over a period of time that lets you find some compatibility beyond that first rush of lust? Maybe old style courting does have a place in the world still.

Am I the only one who feels like this, who deeply misses the level of intimacy that two teenagers seem to be able to reach effortlessly? Maybe it’s time for something a little deeper in my life, something with a little more meaning than just sex.

--Tiger